Imagine if Anything Were Possible -> Exercise in Activation

The Universe is not made of Atoms, It’s made of Tiny Stories” – Muriel Rukeyser.  This is one of my favorite quotes.  It really speaks to my heart and confirms what I know. Words have meaning beyond what’s written or spoken.  They drive our belief’s about what’s possible. 

Another favorite quote is from Donald Rumsfeld:

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.”  

I love that. 

There is so much I want to tell you today… I wish we were sitting at my kitchen table… all of us, drinking coffee and chatting.  Talking about the challenges we face, the exciting possibilities we recognize… Because we are so small in this vast universe but very powerful.  Yes, I think powerful, once we get past the training we’ve received to keep ourselves small.  We have big ideas.

If you were sitting here with me, we’d be having conversations about integrity and character, we’d be talking about our big ideas and the possibilities and paths and the journey.  We’d encourage each other and share ideas of how things work, and how things don’t work.  You and I would join forces and forge our path towards success in anything… in relationships, in our jobs, in parenting, in business building, in spiritual awakening… no judgement just positive energy juice! 

But alas, you’re not here.  We can connect in this blog and exchange ideas but we have to choose our words carefully, because words mean different things to different people.  Two people can say the same words but they can feel  different.  Without the benefit of conversation, and facial expressions and voice modulation, we are left to interpret words with our own tiny stories.  The meaning of everything we hear is based on our narrative… the stories we tell ourselves about what’s possible… FOR US. 

You see, there’s a funny little quirk in human nature and it’s the tendency to SEE POSSIBILITIES but to believe they are only possible for other people.  Weird right?

  • Anytime you’ve ever said, “If only…”  You’re recognizing something is possible… but not for you. 
  • Anytime you’ve ever thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice…” You’re recognizing possibilities, but telling yourself it’s not possible for you. 
  • Anytime you’ve ever joked with friends about, “Never going to find a …” You’re reinforcing the impossibility of something by saying it’s only possible for other people. 

Today I want to help you tell a different story.  Today I want to share with you a quick process for getting to the REAL TRUTH about any matter and helping you change your narrative.  

This technique is so simple that you may read it and discard it as complete nonsense, but I assure you… this method works.  It’s been used for years to get to the root of any issue, challenge, attitude, belief, problem and is a well documented business tool. It’s called The 5 Why’s Technique.  And just like it sounds, you state your problem and ask WHY 5 times to get to the root.  Here’s  fictional (but believeable) example:

Issue:  Someone commented very negatively on Facebook and it really bothered me.

Why #1: Why did it the negative comment bother me so much?
Answer: It bothered me because it was unexpected and it was negative, no one likes negative comments

Why #2: Why did it bother me so much?
Answer: because the negative comment made me feel bad

Why #3: Why did it make me feel bad?
Answer: because it made me think that person didn’t value my opinion or input

Why #4: Why would I feel bad if that person doesn’t value my opinion or input?
Answer: because I want people to value my opinion

Why #5: Why do I want people to value my opinion or input?
Answer: because I judge my value based on how I think other people judge my value

In our lives, we usually stop at the first or second “why”.  We’re trained that way.  You can see, there is a big difference between the Answer to #2 and the Answer to #5.  Knowing the answer to #5 can be life changing. At the very least, it will start a different path of thought. 

This exercise never fails to bring me to the root of the matter.

Mostly, I use this exercise to fight my unending will to procrastinate.  

I used to have a FAVORITE story.  I’d tell anyone that would listen that I don’t have time.  

My internal narrative was : I’m a single parent, raising 3 kids, between driving the kids around, taking care of the house, the yard and my full-time job to pays the bills, it’s hard to carve out the time I need for my online business.  To make this narrative even easier for me to digest, meaning friends, family, co-workers… everyone seemed to support that narrative.  They’d say things like, “I don’t know how you do it” or “don’t you ever get tired”.  They’d all shake their heads knowingly as I used the *EXCUSE of the label “single parent” to put off finishing my new online business projects.

*(I use the word EXCUSE now, but back then I would have resisted that word in my “story”)

Using the 5 Why’s method I realized that I’m actually the classic… never-quite-finish-anything-because-it’s-really-scary-to-invest-time-in-something-that-might-fail person.   

As a coach, I knew I needed help overcoming my resistance to success.  I knew I needed help removing the self imposed road blocks.  I was filling my life with activities and “de-prioritizing” my business by intentionally ignoring the action steps required to move forward.  Happily I hired Melissa Person-Ashforth from www.melissaintl.com  and with her coaching, encouragement and tools I’ve been able to complete several online products. (which are pretty successful I might say) 

Oh, and how did I “find the time”?  That was easy:  Clarity, Courage & Commitment.   

So yes, this process really works!   Understanding how you limit your idea of what’s possible is the first step to changing the story you tell yourself.  Changing that story will help you find the evidence you’ll need to overcome the beliefs that limit you and break through the self imposed road blocks. 

Let me know how this process works for you in the comments below! 

 

Not Everyone Wants More

I struggle with this, really truly struggle.

There are thousands, probably millions of people on the planet that do not want more or better … anything.  AND, I’m not talking about those people that have everything, I’m talking about my neighbors, my friends and family and the hundreds of thousands of people just like them.

Some complain, saying things like; “Oh I wish I had a better [insert job, house, relationship, garden or other]” or “Isn’t she lucky, look at her new [insert car, house, job, boyfriend or other]”

Some happily trudge one doing what they have always done, and getting what they have always gotten.

Some have the lottery mentality which goes something like this:  Yes, I want more, but only if it happens over night and all I have to do to achieve it is spend a small amount of time, energy or cash.

I can’t be the ONLY person on the planet that looks around and is constantly seeing opportunities!  I mean seriously, am I alone?

Here’s my thought process… If someone else can do it and make money, so can I.  Then I set out to educate myself to determine exactly how they did it in order to find out if I can also replicate their success. Sometimes I can… (like my coupon websites) … sometimes I can’t… Like my brief but educational foray into selling gnome doors on Etsy.   My friends think I’m crazy.  They treat me like an idiot and wonder why I spend so much time writing when I could be watching cooking shows on Netflix.

It’s not the money.  Money isn’t the goal, money is a tool.  Like a hammer is a tool.  You need a hammer to build a house, but you would never go out and get a hammer and say, “There. All done, I have my hammer”  nope.  You use the hammer to build the house.  Same thing with money, money is simply a tool that makes EVERYTHING easier.  So, when I look around and see how other people are turning what they know, what they enjoy into income… I’m not just looking at “how to make money” I’m looking for something that really activates my imagination and taps me on the shoulder and says, “I think you would love doing that”.  That’s the piece that my friends (and those other hundreds of thousands of people) are missing.

They are trying to measure their success in achieving “more” by measuring how much money they have earned.

We are indoctrinated into the judgement and analysis of our lives, form the moment we enter the public school system we are graded.  The teachers actually grade us on our effort… as if they can possibly know how much “effort” was given at a certain project, homework or assignment… and they train parents to believe that the grades are somehow an objective evaluation of the value and intelligence of the student.  This worker mentality is promoted and pounded into us all through school and college until we enter the work place and we are “graded” with money.   The money we make is equal to our own value as a contributing citizen.

I get it.  Imagine being a child that was always told (through grades and assessments) you can try harder, you can do better, why don’t you do better, your best isn’t enough.  What kind of adult will that produce?

Imagine going through 12 years of education NEVER being recognized correctly for your efforts.

I see it, I get it.  I understand why some people don’t think about more.  They don’t understand it’s possible.  It’s a shame.

If you feel like you might want more but don’t know how to start… I have a very simple tool.  It’s a question.  AND it goes like this.

Anytime you are about to say: I can’t …  change the statement to a question:  How can I? 

“I can’t make money online”, turns into “How can I make money online?” 

“I can’t make money doing what I love”… turns into “How can I make money doing what I love?”

YOU be You. 

If you need help discovering your inner entrepreneur… comment below, I’m here for you!

 

 

 

The Most Important 17 Seconds of Your Day

I remember reading The Secret several years ago.  It’s funny how that book speaks to people in different ways. Some people find it ridiculous and silly, while others consider it the missing piece that they had been looking for years and years.

Me? I felt like it was an introduction or stepping stone, or nursery school primer. It was something completely new… but not really enough. Not really the whole picture.

To me, it was like being introduced to the idea  of color and then being told … Now go out and find some.

On my Journey I found the Tao, ancient text translated by hundreds of people with all of it slightly different… why? Because we’re using words.  Our words are what give our life it’s color.  When we hear or say something it paints an emotional picture for us, we live what we think.  We feel things, they make us think something, then we take action, or we Think –> Feel –> Take Action… either way, our feelings are tied up in the results that we live.

Non judgement is the essence of happiness.  Read this first chapter of The Tao Te Ching and allow it to settle in without analyzing and evaluating and even really trying to fully understand, let it wash over you and pick out the best feeling you can.

The Tao Te Ching

Tao (The Way) that can be spoken of is not the Constant Tao’
The name that can be named is not a Constant Name.
Nameless, is the origin of Heaven and Earth;
The named is the Mother of all things.
Thus, the constant void enables one to observe the true essence.
The constant being enables one to see the outward manifestations.
These two come paired from the same origin.
But when the essence is manifested,
It has a different name.
This same origin is called “The Profound Mystery.”
As profound the mystery as It can be,
It is the Gate to the essence of all life.

Along my journey I’ve found many coaches, mentors and exceptional lessons. One of the most thought provoking (and currently alive) of those is the combination of Abraham and Esther Hicks. (AKA Abraham Hicks) I bring them up because I’m going share a video to watch (or listen to).  Whether you believe that Esther Hicks is able to connect with the non-physical beings that call themselves Abraham or not… it doesn’t change the message of this video.  The instruction and help that is provided in this video.  Listen without judgement.

I imagine, that if these words were provided by a well respected Health & Wellness Guru that there’d be a best selling book, and expensive sales funnels at every turn.  But that’s not how they seem to work. When you visit their site, you can see their books and videos for sale, but there’s no flashy sales funnel or promises of wealth beyond your dreams, just their stuff.  If you want it… you can buy it. 🙂

Today, I want to share with you this Great way to change your life with just 17 seconds every morning.

 

 

 

 

Pay Attention To Your Stories -> You are not the pen

You are not the pen…

One day you picked up a pen. Maybe someone asked you to pick it up, maybe you saw it and thought you’d like it … the fact is, one day you picked up the pen.

Look at that pen in your hand. You tell everyone (including yourself) the story about how the pen got there. You tell everyone (including yourself) how beautiful it was, or how nicely it used to write, and how in the end you were tricked, mislead, manipulated into picking up the pen, and you look at it.

All you see is the pen, you don’t see your hand clutching it so tightly… anymore.

You have it in your hand, and you choose to grip it firmly. Imagine always having that pen in your hand. Imagine going to sleep, taking a shower, going to work, always gripping the pen in one hand.

You show this pen in your hand to people and say, “LOOK AT THIS! I am so limited because of this pen in my hand!” or “I can’t do that because of this pen in my hand.” And after a while, the pen and its story become your story. You are the pen.

Sadly, the world confirms that. They tell you, “Of course, we understand you’re limited because of the pen in your hand.” Or “It’s not your fault you picked up the pen.” Or “Tell us again the sad sad tale of the day you picked up the pen.”

Sometimes…. They ask you, “Why don’t you let go of the pen?” and that question infuriates you.

You hold your pen high into the air and call to all people holding pens. You point at people without pens and accuse them of targeting you because they don’t know what it’s like to hold a pen, day in and day out.

You say you shouldn’t have to put the pen down, after all, it’s not your fault that you are holding it…. and you tell your story again. The story about the day you became the pen.

They don’t ask again. They know better. You are the pen.

But…

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever thought about releasing your grip?

Have you ever thought about holding your fist up to the sky and unfurling your fingers?

Close your eyes and imagine the pen releasing and your hand completely free. Envision a future story without the limitations of the pen in one hand. Let the pen go.
The fact is, I have a desk drawer filled with pens… most people do. Some are harder to put down than others, but in the end.

Pens are used for writing stories… they are not the story. You are not the pen.

The Evolution of Your Soul -> Step One

It’s hard to measure things that have no substance, and yet we try.  Every day, we measure our happiness and our worth, and we imagine that other’s life lives so different… so free of our anxiety and struggle.  The truth is much different.  The truth is, the things we see are such a small fraction of existence.  Setting aside the metaphysical, and concentrating purely on verifiable and physically testable… there are things too small for the human eye to see.  Even with glasses on, there will be people around me that see more, that see differently… that pay attention to details that never even enter my awareness. 

Why is that? 

Well, it’s partly training.  Like a police officer surveying the crowd, she is trained to look for specific actions, furtive glances, unusual packages, posture, facial expressions and more.  And at some point, training mingles with intuition and they “just know” certain things.  We are all trained.  or Should I say, Indoctrinated to judge. 

You have been told about “what’s possible” by well meaning adults your whole life.  And now, as old as you are, you are still being told by media, friends and family, to evaluate, judge and analyze your value and worth.  And that’s if your lucky… that’s if you are surrounded by love and light, imagine if you are surrounded by jealousy and frustration and anger.  Imagine the ruler you would be using to measure. 

That stops today.  Because today, you are reading this post and while I don’t know you I KNOW YOU ARE AMAZING. 

I KNOW you are unique

I KNOW you are worthy and loveable 

and I KNOW.. that your possibilities are limitless. 

It’s simple.  It may not be easy, but it’s simple.  Start today.  Simply make the decision that you want something different.  Simply decide that you want more.  

I’m going to tell you a secret.  ONLY YOU can change your life, waiting for the “right person” or “right job” or “right time” is just stalling your moment of greatness… Start today. 

Start Today… Start Each Day with Your Day Dream.

IF ANYTHING WERE POSSIBLE… AND MONEY WERE NO OBJECT… How would you be experiencing your life right now? 

IF YOU COULD WAVE A MAGIC WAND, AND BE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE… How would your life be different? 

Now write down that day dream… Include as many sensory perceptions as possible by answering questions like: What does it smell like? What do you hear? How does it feel against your skin?

Here’s an example:

Each morning I wake up to a quiet clean house. I do that on purpose, I wake up before the crazy wonderfulness of the kids and the dog. I wake up early to write.  I can smell the rich aroma of the freshly brewed coffee and smile in thankfulness that I remembered to set the timer on the coffee pot the night before. As I walk towards the kitchen I notice the gentle rolling sounds of the ocean outside the double french doors and bask in the slightly salty smell of the morning air.  We are on vacation. We are at our summer home.   I love my life. I stand still gazing out on the horizon in thankfulness.  I love this moment of the day, when I work. I love that I work 4 hours a day, so early in the morning almost before anyone else is awake. I am thankful for my success as a writer, coach and speaker and especially thankful for all of the people that I help because they help me too.  They energize me and influence me and I love that.  I am so wonderfully happy that I am able to live the life of my dreams doing what I love to do. 

Get it yet?  Do you understand yet? 

Starting each day with this one simple day dream… will make you FEEL abundant, makes you FEEL happy, content, valuable, worthy, successful… will change your life. 

Each day as you fill your soul with the feeling of abundance, your subconscious mind will look for evidence to support that possibility.   

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